The Un-silent Woman

I just want to relax your nervous system Remind you that better days are coming That God hasn't forgotten you That love has not disregarded you That there is still purpose in you That there is still light shining from within you That I will never get tired of being good for you Being good to you Can I help you sort your luggage? Throw somethings out that you've been holding onto Fitting your temporary baggage into a carry-on Making it easier for you to carry on... can I?~ Brittany K.W., 07/28/2022 a moment. platonic. sexual. romantic.  When we meet people, we have this habit of creating an idea in our minds of who they are going to be to us. In a matter of moments, we cultivate a reality of them remaining a stranger, becoming a friend or evolving into a lover. That's our human nature. Rarely do we wonder who we will be to others during this first encounter-- how we will be to them, how we will be of purpose to them. And more often than not, in this pursuit of assumption ove...

 "There are years that ask questions and years that answer." ~ Zora Neale Hurtson That's my favorite quote of all time... a gem from Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God.  In the last two years, I have learned and unlearned, given and received, accepted and released, loved and lost in love amongst so many other things. I've asked questions that have gone unanswered. Most of all, I've changed. And there has been so much peace in transitioning and gratitude for the gifts it continues to bring.  In March 2020, everything shifted. Life as we knew it became a thing of the past. We went from working in the office to working from home. We went from hugs to distant waves from in the car as we drove by to say "Happy Birthday." We went from dancing the night away under the lights in the club or at brunch to finding out which one of our favorite DJs were doing a live on instagram or facebook and FaceTiming our tribes to watch it together. We went from going t...

 "There are three things that I will ever ask of you in this space:        1. Don't curse me out, or I will curse you out.       2. Always try.       3. Always bet on yourself." ~Ms. Webb, M.S., CCC-SLP, TSSLD, October 2021, Bronx, NY Those were the words I told my kids during my first week at my dream school. To you I may be a poet, your favorite blogger, sister, cousin, auntie, girlfriend, or your new favorite doula, but during the day, I am a speech-language pathologist at an all boys high school in The Bronx-- the South Bronx to be exact. And to my babies, I have become home. Stepping into that building on my first day was a full circle moment. My family is rooted in the South Bronx. My great-aunt lives five minutes away from my school in the apartment my mother used to play in, in the projects where she and her siblings used to make family out of the neighbors and kids in the park.  I always said all I ever wante...

Have you been healing? Have you eaten today? Has my love reached you, even in the distance? Did you ever find the right outfit to wear... To walk to your living room couch or… For 9am zoom calls with little purpose For a FaceTime call with your distant relatives For therapy For .... check-in~Brittany K.W., 01/12/2022 Hey Beloved. How are you? I know it's been a while since we've gathered in this space. It's also, probably, been a while since somebody has genuinely asked you, "How are you?" These days encounters look more like: Other: Hey You: Hey, how are you? Other: I'm fine. Are you v-xxed? You: Yes or no. Other: *screws up face* Oh, well I think you should... I think everybody should get back to loving. Get back to living. Get back to being decent people-- you know humanity, community, tribes and all that jazz. These past two years have been one hell of a shieeetttt show if I can say so myself. And while I'm sure, at first, we all loved working from hom...

"Shame derives its power from being unspeakable... if we cultivate enough awareness about shame, to name it and speak to it, we've basically cut it off at the knees." Brene Brown  Shame (noun): a feeling of sorrow, regret, disgust, or guilt as a result of something done  Shame (verb): to cause someone to feel inadequate and ashamed of self by way of action or word Shame: A b*tch  It's that silent thing we carry and don't talk about because God forbid they know what really happened. God forbid all your skeletons take off that which you've covered them in and bear themselves for all to see. It's the thing that keeps us up at night, replaying every scenario in our head-- questioning what we could have done to make it all right. It makes us our own martyr-- because God forbid we put the weight down, would we even be the same people?  Sometimes we carry shame subconsciously, forgetting its roots until something or someone does something that triggers us into ...

I know there’s beauty in fullness I know we get excited about the power of the full moon The beauty of fully bloomed roses But there’s no fullness if we don’t journey the other stages— no honor for cheating yourself of the journey phases.~ Brittany K.W., 01/03/2021 Healing : the journey to becoming grounded and healthy Shadow work : becoming aware of your hidden wounds and intentionally healing those aspects Healing isn't pretty. It's not linear. It's tiring. It's different every day-- some days are inactive. It is a journey that nobody ever asks for, but it is necessary. Why? Because unhealed (hurt) people go around hurting people-- intentionally and unintentionally-- and then, that person has to journey healing before they repeat that cycle on somebody else. Therefore, you have to do the work.  A little secret for you: When you hurt others, you hurt yourself. You hurt somebody you are connected to, and in return-- even if you don't see it-- you end up hurting your...

And  then your final days come And you’ll realize you spent so much time trying to reconcile your past  --wishing it’d come back to you Wondering about a future that was never promised to you Only to ignore the present which was screaming out to you Waiting to be honored Loved   Appreciated   & lived wasted.~ Brittany K.W., 06/01/2021 What if I told you the past happened like it did to cultivate a way for tomorrow to happen the way it should?  Does that include the pain and hurt because there's no way that that was supposed to happen? Yes, it includes the pain, disappointment, hurt, grief-- all of it. Might it have not been preferred? Of course, but there's a lesson in everything. A reason for everything. All of it-- the good, bad, hurt, disappointment, joy, everything-- was necessary for you to arrive in this present moment.  In grammar we learn about three main tenses-- past, present and future. Past : no longer here; gone Present : right here, right...