Love Is...
Remind you that better days are coming
That God hasn't forgotten you
That love has not disregarded you
can I?~ Brittany K.W., 07/28/2022
a moment. platonic. sexual. romantic.
When we meet people, we have this habit of creating an idea in our minds of who they are going to be to us. In a matter of moments, we cultivate a reality of them remaining a stranger, becoming a friend or evolving into a lover. That's our human nature. Rarely do we wonder who we will be to others during this first encounter-- how we will be to them, how we will be of purpose to them. And more often than not, in this pursuit of assumption over presence, we a force a reality that was never meant to be and create more havoc than we anticipated-- causing more hurt than we intended.
Summertime in the Stuy, 1999
It was a Sunday afternoon, and she sat in the Brooklyn sun, summer mist dripping down her backside, as she sat on her blue velvet blanket atop the hill of Fort Greene park with her sister-friends, alternatively pointing and flexing her cocaine polished feet-- over the blanket's edge-- to the intro instrumentals of Sade's Sweetest Taboo, playing at the perfect volume from her bluetooth speaker.
"One thing about Che`, she's gonna play some Sade or Auntie Nita every chance she gets," Bahati said loud enough for all the kinfolk in the park to hear. Bahati was Kache's most passionate friend. Her smile lit up every room. Her light radiated through concrete walls. And her laugh-- baby, it could cause an earthquake. But most of all, she was love embodied, and Kache could be in her space for lifetimes without complaint.
"Now, ya'll know how much I love them," Kache said, as proceeded to light a patchouli incense stick. "Top five of all time."
"Girl, you ain't never lied. One thing for sure, they're both timeless," said Melina, the balance of the group. She was the perfect blend of Che and Titi. Lina was the definition of yin and yang. She was gentle, yet feisty. Soft-spoken yet fierce. Small in stature yet big in personality. She was similar to Che` in so many ways, yet so different from her.
Without second thought, the trio harmonized "You give me, you give me the sweeetest taboooo," before breaking out in laughter that came from the depths of their souls.
They all sway to the beat, eyes disguised by the rising of their defined cheekbones, their freckles highlighted by the sun's rays beaming against their varied shades of melanin.
"It's about time for some Black Girl Sunscreen," said Che`. She always kept a bottle of BGS and a Black literature book in her bag-- for the days she wandered to the park to ground herself in the grass.
She grabbed it out of her beige straw tote bag before standing up to lather the sunscreen all-over her mocha brown skin-- colored by tattoos that tell different stories of her people. And before she could begin, she saw one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen.
She was about 5'9 in stature and the moisture of her curls glistened under the sunlight. Shoulders back. Gold diamond-encrusted grillz on her bottom row-- babies shined, even at a peripheral view. Birkenstocks with the socks-- a Che` staple. She was a mocha brown, with a red undertone. And there was a light that came from her that Che couldn't shake-- she wanted to know more
"Y'all..." Titi and Lina looked at Che before establishing joint attention with the woman of the present moment. Before she could continue ,Titi had to get out her thoughts and excitement.
"You sure do have a type Che,`" laughed Titi. "Want me to go get her?!?!?!"
"Behave yourself Titi. She's with her friends, and you know Che` is shy and doesn't get down like that," Lina said with a voice of a mother, redirecting her sister friend's attention to her with her index and middle finger on Titi's defined jawline. Titi's head might have been moved, but her eyes were stuck on the woman in the distance.
"What if that's her future wife, and y'all just over here staring at her from the side! I'm going to go..."
Lina reached for Tit's arm, but Titi's determination ran faster than Lina's thoughts to stop her.
"You know you should've never said nothing because Titi's going to do it every time," Lina said as her and Che` broke out in a unison laughter that only sisterhood could bring.
In the middle of her external laughter were her inner thoughts... What if this is all that it is supposed to be? What if she's got her own thing going? What if she's healing? What about my healing?
Before she could come to grips with her thoughts, Titi tapped her over the shoulder.
"Okay, so this is my girl Kache`, but we call her Che`. Che` this is Alana-- she's a scorpio and she's single!"
Che` and Alana exchanged a hug amongst embarrassing laughs.
"Nice to meet you Che`. Would you like to exchange numbers?" asked Alana.
"Before we do, I'd like to get to speak with you--awaaayyyy from everybody else," Che` said sarcastically, staring directing at Titi. "May we talk on that bench over there?"
Alana chuckled before joking, "I usually don't do well with rejection, but lucky for you, I love a good park bench conversation."
In a matter of minutes, Che` had learned that Alana was in a deep healing journey, unable to commit to much-- not even herself. Being herself, Che` started asking the deep questions.
"What part of you do you deem hardest to love," she asked staring beyond the left side of Alana's face into the sunset.
"What are you, some type of therapist?" asked Alana, nervously.
"No, I'm just curious. You talk like you're so broken, so hard to love... but I don't see it."
"You can't see it because I bury it away-- it's too much to lay out for somebody to understand. If I told somebody everything, they would think...."
Alana just stared at Che`.
Staring back at Alana, Che` asked in curiosity, "They would think what?"
"Nothing," said Alana, looking down at her shaking legs and twiddling thumbs.
"Look, I'm not here to judge you," said Che`, looking at the sunset that reminded her of the rise and fall of everyday, season and phase. "I've traveled my own dark tunnels, thought I would drown in my own storms. As much as you may be going through, I just want you to know somebody sees the light in you. I see it, and I don't want anything from you. But if I may ask, may I just be there for you? We all need somebody who doesn't want nothing from us but to just be there. May I?"
"Everybody wants something," Alana said with certainty.
"No, ma'am. Some of us are just here to spread love, and love doesn't require you to give anything. It just asks that you be present and accepting of it."
"If that be the case, can I tell you what hurts the most opposed to what's hardest to love?"
Gifting permission to be home to the heaviest parts of her, Che` held space for Alana, telling her, "You can tell me whatever you need to let go of."
And that she did, until two beautiful Black Women began yelling from the top of the hill, while packing up their belongings from the blue velvet blanket, "Kache`!"
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Sometimes, all we need is love. Not romantic love. Not conditional love. Just pure love. Love that heals. Love that assures us that God is real. Love that reminds us it's okay to be imperfect-- we are still lovable in every phase. Love that reminds us that we don't have to do anything to receive this love. Love that is home.
Sometimes the park bench is as far as our physical bodies will go, while our love travels with people-- despite our absence. It's not always easy to leave your love with somebody. Sometimes we're blessed with the opportunity to love up close-- because it's meant for us to. Sometimes we leave it behind and trust it will be alright. Other times, we force a journey, following our love and its recipient into a territory we were never meant to be in.
May I tell you something? More often than not, the platonic love with a person gifts you more than the romantic love. May I tell you something else? All is not lost when you realize romance was never meant to be the destination. Maturity and communication, mixed with a lot of love, permit a graceful transition into different realms of love-- such as platonic and even distant love.
Take it from me-- I have copacetic relationships with almost every ex, be it relationships, situationships, the menz, the womenz. And this not to say I'm hanging out with them every weekend or talk to them on the phone often-- no ma'am, no sir. But it is to say there is respect. There is decency. There is support. There is a community line-- not tie. And there is always love.
So Beloved, give yourself the chance to experience pure love. No expectations. No added feelings. Just love. Be good to somebody. Be good for somebody. But most of all, be good to and for yourself. Follow your intuition-- you'll never have to force what's in alignment.
I love y'all.
Talk to you soon. xo- Britt 🌹