Be Here. Be Now.
And you’ll realize you spent so much time trying to reconcile your past
--wishing it’d come back to you
Wondering about a future that was never promised to you
Only to ignore the present which was screaming out to you
Waiting to be honored
Loved
Appreciated
& lived
wasted.~ Brittany K.W., 06/01/2021
What if I told you the past happened like it did to cultivate a way for tomorrow to happen the way it should?
Does that include the pain and hurt because there's no way that that was supposed to happen?
Yes, it includes the pain, disappointment, hurt, grief-- all of it. Might it have not been preferred? Of course, but there's a lesson in everything. A reason for everything. All of it-- the good, bad, hurt, disappointment, joy, everything-- was necessary for you to arrive in this present moment.
In grammar we learn about three main tenses-- past, present and future.
Past: no longer here; gone
Present: right here, right now
Future: not here; possibility of arriving
For whatever reason, as a collective we struggle to appreciate the present. We struggle because we are addicted to the occurrences of the past or the hopes and plans for the future; meanwhile, the present is trying so hard to be a gift, to be recognized and appreciated, and to be lived. We miss moments in the present focusing on things we cannot change and things out of our control.
First, let's talk about the past because baaaaayyyyybeeeeee... we all struggle with letting it go-- some of us more than others.
The past is the most sure thing we have to hold onto because we lived it, and because we're so sure of it, some of us are scared that some of the lowest moments are going to happen again, so we hold onto the idea trying to fix it-- but you cannot fix what is done, Beloved. All you can do is try your best to make sure you don't place yourself in a predicament to experience the same lows again. That test you failed-- you cannot take it again, but you can study harder for the next one. That picture you took but hated-- you cannot take it away, but you can take another one, knowing what you didn't like from the last one. That bare minimum sex you participated in-- you cannot undo that, but you can sage your holy ground and be more intentional in future encounters. That relationship you hoped would last forever but ended-- you cannot undo the breakup, but you can work to be a better lover, friend, parter, and lover of self, and cultivate space and growth to allow love to come back to you again.
On the other hand, some of us hold on to the highs because we fear we won't experience that same feeling again, so we hold onto that which is out of season. We don't give ourselves the chance to experience something new, and even if we do, we sabotage it by comparing it to the past, losing the gifts the present was trying to gift us. Imagine if you were able to see all you lost in the present because you were stuck holding onto that which wasn't yours to hold onto.
You cannot undo or redo the past. You can increase your awareness and intentions. You can journey to becoming your highest self so that you may attract all the love, abundance and forgiveness you are seeking. But to try and live in the past-- to try and fix or relive it-- is to say you don't trust yourself to have more... to have better. It's to say you're stuck because you prefer comfort over elevation. You'd rather do things the way you know how to do them than to be stretched. You prefer the pain over liberation because that's what you know-- that's what you think you deserve.
What if I told you you deserve more and the God within the universe is trying to give it to you, but you're walking around with clenched hands, holding onto that which does not need/want to be held anymore? Imagine somebody trying to give you stacks of hundred dollar bills, but they can't because you're holding onto stacks of singles because that's all you know. That's what you're used to, and by way of your actions, you're telling God that you don't trust Her/Him enough to bring better to you, so you'll hold onto that of lesser value for comfort.
Can I tell you something? The past doesn't want to be held--it knows its value doesn't compare with the present. It taught you what it was supposed to, and as your teacher, the past would like to retire. However, you are draining it. You are draining yourself. You are sinking your own ship, drowning in sorrow that you can let go of.
But Britt, it hurts. It's not that easy.
I know. I've been there, too. However, I didn't want to stay in the same place that hurt me. I wanted to transmute the pain, so I sat with it for a while. I broke it down to find the purpose in its existence, allowed myself to feel every emotion, and I let it go and picked myself up. If nobody has ever told you, you can bless your past, release it in grace and give yourself permission to be free. You don't have to carry the weight-- it gets too heavy and limits your capacity to receive better. Let it go, Beloved.
Disclaimer: letting go does not equate to running from it. It'll come running, too. Actually sit with it (temporarily) and make amends with it.
As for negating the present for the future: imagine being in a relationship with somebody, giving them all you've got-- love, attention, time, space, energy, trust, and grace-- and they're focused on the next partner. Sounds crazy right? I know because it is. That's how it is when you focus so much on the future that you cannot even see what's happening for you in this very moment. God, the ancestors, the powers within the universe-- whatever you believe in-- have worked so hard for you to get to this moment, for you to experience all the glory of the present; yet, here you are, waiting for something else because right now isn't enough for you.
Can I tell you something else? Abundance, joy, love, and peace-- everything you want-- is on the other side of gratitude. Gratitude requires you to be present in this moment and experience all that is. Tomorrow will come. Your dreams and aspirations will come to be, but even that requires you to be present because in this moment there is work to be done. That required prayer-- needs to be spoken right now. That manifestation-- needs to be written right now. That house you want-- depends on your time, investment and work in the now. That project-- needs to be planned right now. You're chasing something, but you can't even land your feet on the ground beneath you-- you're going nowhere beloved. Today is happening as it needs to for tomorrow to happen in its destined manner. Why sacrifice this moment trying to force something? What is meant to be doesn't require force. It doesn't require you to sacrifice the present. It doesn't require you to sacrifice your sanity. You'll miss out on divine gifts, partnerships, love, and experiences chasing after something that isn't ready and/or meant for you.
As for the present: it's here, and it's waiting on you to recognize it. There's so much for you right now. There are people trying to love you. There are lessons waiting to be learned. There are gifts waiting to be received. There are experiences waiting to welcome you. There are places for you to see, things for you to hear, see, taste, feel-- you can't do that if you are running back to the past and knocking for the future to open its door. There are miracles happening right now. You are a miracle happening right now. Be present.
So Beloved, I pray you give yourself a chance to live this life moment by moment. Promise me, if you're still healing from past traumas, that you'll do the healing work while existing in the present. Today is June 2nd-- promise me you'll proactively do the shadow work during the summer, so that come next season you won't still be stuck on the past. Promise me-- hell, promise yourself-- that you will show up for yourself and allow life to happen for you. Promise you'll stop rushing to the future and that you'll bask in all that is right now.
Walk in alignment.
Enjoy the journey.
Everything is on time.
Everything is okay. Everything is alright. Let it be. So it is.
Until next time.
I love you. xo- Britt 🌹