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Showing posts from February, 2021

Caring Ain't Love

So I ask you..   Is it worth losing your soul Sacrificing your shadow Beating at your heart Being lonely in love… me.to.me.~ Brittany K.W., 10/13/2015. Recently, my morning meditations consist of me reading All About Love  by Bell Hooks and Inward by Yung Pueblo. You can say I am on a journey of unpacking, unlearning, being honest with myself, and rebuilding myself. If I know anything at all, I know the healing ain't easy. As beautiful as it is, it hurts, it's uncomfortable, but, most of all, it is humbly rewarding because you have to face the truth-- no matter how hard the truth is to digest. While I was reading a chapter in All About Love , I was forced to reevaluate my relationships with those I love, from the family realm to the romantic realm. Of all the people I love (present or released), as much as "I love you" was exchanged, I have not been loved in every relationship-- I have been cared for. One may say that the two are the same, and while someone you love c

Fear of the Good

But what if it won’t end What if this experience will last until my last breath What if this is the love I prayed for and manifested What if this is the one, but out of fear, I’m one foot out the door ready to run What if.... self.sabotage. ~Brittany K.W., 02/17/2021 I think (insert: "I know") sometimes we trick ourselves out of the things we deserve and wanted, out of fear. Fear has its way of creeping up in between the cracks when we least expect it. It's an unconscious phenomenon that we have to fight day in and day out. Why? Because past experiences made us think that some things are "too good to be true." Past experiences made us think that all good things come to an end. In relationships, past experiences made us believe in the "honeymoon phase." But what if the good doesn't end? What if this is just the beginning of all the good you've sown seeds for? What if all this good you're experiencing is a full circle from all the good you pu

Grown Behind Child

 "Girls are to be seen and not heard." At 25, I'm still learning how to speak up for myself Especially to the woman who told me to be quiet A childhood tragedy. . Unlearning ~ Brittany K.W., 02/02/21 When I was younger, similar to most, I wanted to grow up so bad. Being an adult seemed like the greatest thing to be. It looked fun-- you get to do what you want to do, go where you want to go, get married to your favorite partner before a certain age, have kids, have a job, travel... the list goes on. If it was up to me, I would have sprinted through childhood and just became an adult, but as an adult, I wish I appreciated childhood more-- in a sense. I am glad I didn't have the opportunity to sprint to this stage because at 25 I am unpacking childhood traumas. For context, I am going to tell you some of the things my younger self thought I would have accomplished by 25 (jokes on me): Married to the love of my life by 22-- babyyyyy, I'm single at 25. Have 2 of 6 kids

When Do You Draw The Line?

You don’t have to You don’t have to do any of it You can throw it all away We all have limitations Only do it if it feels right from the depths of your heart and soul But baby,   You   Don’t Have To .   limitations [a piece of a whole]~ Brittany K.W., 02/02/21 I think we give too much sometimes. I think we sacrifice so much of ourselves in hopes that the recipient will reciprocate; we give so much that we pour out until our cup is empty. Then, when we realize we have nothing left to give-- not even to ourselves-- we point the finger at everybody we gave to. "I gave her all of that, but she never bought me anything." "I picked him up from work after every shift, and he didn't even offer to put gas in my car." "I made dinner every night, and they didn't even have it in them to wash the dishes." Who told you to do it? Who told you to keep doing it? Why did you? Why did it have to go so far for you to draw the line? I'll let you in on a secret, bel