Waiting or Weighting

 

Wait on

Wait for 

Wait up

Wait with

Wait...

Weight on

Weight for

Weight with

Weigh down

Weight...

You.

The weight of you. 

why.wait(weight)~ Brittany K.W., 10/25/2020

George Costanza: What happened? Something must've happened.

Gwen: It's not you it's me.

George Costanza: You're giving me the, "it's not you, it's me" routine? I invented it's not you it's me. Nobody tells me it's them not me. If it's anybody it's me.

It looks different each time doesn't it? The journey of waiting for someone to show up for you the way you show up for them. Sometimes it looks like them going ghost out of the blue-- no warning or preparation. They just go without you. Sometimes they start acting different-- ignoring the established love language, playing target practice with your spirit and feelings with their words or actions without warrant, breaking all the promises and agreements made. Other times it will look like a long essay (by text or written letter) telling you that you did nothing wrong, but they're not ready. You know... the "it's not you, it's me. You did everything right."  

So you step back and analyze the situation in its entirety, beginning with yourself. You spend days trying to figure out what you could have done better-- even though your crossed every "T" and dotted every "i." You played your part, and baby, you did it well. To make matters heavier, in the name of love, and by request of your lover, you contemplate waiting-- waiting for them to get it right, for them to be in a better space, for them to back up their apologies with action, waiting for them to love you back. 

Ain't that some shhhhhhiettt?!? All these years you've worked on yourself, becoming better at being intentional in every aspect to the point you have become the epitome of a good lover, all for someone to reveal to you that it wasn't enough (for them), under the premises of, "it's not you, it's me." 

Let me be honest with you: As much as that statement is a cliche, more often than not, it's the truth. There are times where it will be you, but to relieve adding insult to injury this statement will still be used. However, more often than not, the changes birthed within your partner without your knowing. They started to withdraw emotionally, mentally, physically, and/or spiritually, and the withdrawal tends to happen in stages-- it doesn't happen all at once. More often than not, they have spent time pondering how to tell you that they needed to release what was built between the two of you. And while they may ask you to wait, more often than not, they are not coming back to water you nor that which you've built together.

Note: Love and compatibility are not the same thing.  Love is the passion that allows you to do the right thing, and sometimes the right thing is letting go-- even when it is for selfish reasons. 

 

So, now your heart's questions arise. "What do you mean? Is this it? When did you know? Why didn't you tell me before? What could I have done better? How do we go forward? Friends? Strangers?... What?"

Answer: "I know it sounds selfish, but I ask that you weight for me." 

After all this time of reshaping your life to fit the shape of your partner. After all this time you've spent investing into building a solid foundation. After all this time they still want your time-- weight idly while they do whatever they ned to do. Don't you dare consider dating someone else because God forbid they love you right and make your time worth it. God forbid they love you with intention and gently-- even on the rainy days. God forbid they dedicate a song to you and instead of saying hurtful things to you when the going gets tough, they play that song to remember why they walked into love with you in the first place (you deserve this love Beloved). God forbid the stars align outside of your weighting partner. I mean the partner you're supposed to be waiting on. 

That's their biggest fear though-- that you'll meet someone else who will love you different and better. They fear that you'll meet someone who will turn them, and the love you built with them, into a distant memory. They fear that your life will go on and ascend to higher heights without them. So they ask you to weight.

They ask you to carry the weight. They ask you to waste your time and relish in whatever moments you both created once upon a time to keep you weighting. That's what it is. There's hardly ever a such thing as waiting on somebody in a healthy way without sacrificing something you deserve. Moments pass by. The stars stop shining on you. God starts removing people from you (even those you haven't met) because you'd rather weight for your partner instead of wait on God. Next thing you know you start looking at yourself crazy and start questioning what you deserve.

BABY, YOU DESERVE THE SUN, MOON, STARS, FLOWERS, PIXY DUST, MAGIC, LOVE, & INTENTION. 

YOU DESERVE THE LOVE YOU GIVE. I REPEAT: YOU DESERVE THE LOVE YOU GIVE. 

So Beloved, the next time love transitions on you (God forbid), don't you weight for nobody. You just wait on God. Don't you go picking apart your spirit being trying to figure out how you could have made them stay. You just acknowledge that you gave what you could. And should you come together again, in time and alignment, bless it. And should you not-- should love (and compatibility) from someone else-- bless it AND water it. 

Love is waiting for you, but it will never weight on you.

Talk to you soon. xo- Britt 🌹